Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Baby Weight

Have you ever seen those belly fat commercials?
I feel like I should be on one.
The Squeeze is 4 months old, and I swear my stomach hasn't gone down.  In my mind, I still look 7 months pregnant.  (And my clothes would agree with my mind, based on the way that they fit.)
A couple weeks ago, I read THIS post from one of my favorite blogs, The Brunette Bombshell.  Meg talks about her little demon, and even named it Ned.  I am so inspired by how candidly she talks about her struggles with food and weight.  (And, by the way, she is incredibly funny and so pretty too.  Not to mention that her life in New York makes me some kind of seriously jealous at times!)  Anyway, that inspiration has turned into this post.

It is time for me to get serious.  Baby weight sucks!  Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't the skinniest person before I got prego with the Squeeze.  But, I was seriously working on it.  I had been eating right and working out religiously.  When I got pregnant, that all stopped.  I was seriously sick.  And exhausted.  And emotional.  I ate pasta and chocolate and cereals and drank chocolate milk and juice.  Add to that my apparent allergic reaction to the pregnancy hormone (doctor's diagnosis, not mine,) and I gained more weight than is recommended.  By. A. Lot.

Now, she is 4 months old and I haven't lost any more weight than I was down 6 weeks after she was born.  Finding time to work out is hard!  I already have a guilt complex for not being here for her during the day, so when I get home from work, I don't work out.  I want to spend time with her and see all of the things that I miss during the 8 hours of work that I put myself through on a daily basis.  (But, that is a different post altogether.)  All of this guilt makes me eat even crappier.  I still eat chocolate and pizza and ice cream, etc.  It is my comfort food.  Sometimes I have to ask, "why, oh why couldn't I be one of those girls that can't eat when I am stressed or emotional instead of the kind that lays on the couch and eats everything in sight??"  I would like to pretend that I'm doing everything right and it just isn't coming off, but the truth is that I'm not.  I'm still emotional and hormonal and used to eating chocolate and candy and pasta as comfort all over again.  The truth is that breaking that habit is hard for me.  The truth is that I have been doing it still--coupled with not working out.  Not really.  Not consistently.  The truth is that when I stop--truly stop bingeing and start--truly start really working out, the weight will start (slowly) coming off.  It won't be immediate or fast, but it will start to come off.  Problem solved.  But, I'm weak.  Why can't I make myself do what I know is in my best interest?

Can we make a resolution together--even though it isn't even close to New Year's?  I resolve to be better from today on.  Care to join me?  I will get back in my fighting shape--while I am still in my prime.  I am 25.  I should be active and fun and fit and able to do everything I want to do (including fitting in my favorite pair of jeans.)  There will be beach trips in my future (unfortunately some are coming up too soon...) and I intend to look decent in my swimming suit.  I really want to be the mom that looks good and enjoys looking at pictures of herself with her little ones.  I don't want to always be hiding from the camera. So, can we form a support group please?  I'm in need of a bit of help with this one!  Is anyone with me?


caitlin said...

I hear ya sister. I hear ya.

Ian said...

Does it really matter? Just gross out on copious amounts of fruit and vegetables and you'll be fine.

The Girl in the Yellow Shoes said...

Thanks Cait! And Ian, so true!

Lisa C said...

Hi, I just stumbled across your blog today...

Oh, I hated baby weight. My little guy is 9.5 months, so I have luckily been able to loose most of the weight, but only because I am fortunate enough to be with him all day and carry him up and down the stairs all day long.

I, too, was awesome with food before I got pregnant, and then my awful pregnancy ruined that. How can you expect yourself to get back on track when you have a little one? I finally decided to try harder to eat well so that I could have more energy. Focusing on the weight, I think, only makes it stick around longer. Good luck.